Saturday, August 13, 2011

Judgey McJudgersons

Man, oh, man, the parenting world is a judgey place. There was an article on MSN’s Parenting about The Mom-Judging Olympics. I will admit that I’ve been judgmental towards other moms, and it’s always done in my own head-or I share my thoughts with Mike. I really have no right to do that because I believe people are free to raise their children however they want. When someone makes a comment about their baby, I try not to interject with what we are doing that works in that situation unless they specifically ask for opinions or help.

I know I was judged for decisions we made. I was judged for exclusively pumping because I wasn’t actually breastfeeding. Because you know, breast is best. I spent many nights early on when I was up pumping trying to figure out if the breast itself was best or the breastmilk. My hormones were wacky and I just wanted to make sure I was doing what was best. In all honesty, I think feeding your baby in general is best, whether that’s breastmilk from the source, or from a bottle, or formula. I like to tell people that I’m pro-baby feeding. If you can breastfeed, great. If you need to pump, good for you. If you want/need to use formula, by all means, go right ahead. We made decisions that were right for our family, and I really should have let the criticism bother me. I gave it my all and in the end, my boobs just sorta gave up. I tried oatmeal and fenu.greek (which made me smell like syrup) and neither of those helped at all. I tried doing more bfing sessions. But she is getting fed and I feel like that is one of the my most important jobs. I had someone ask me once how she was sleeping. I said she was sleeping from about 8-5 (at the time), someone chimed in “Well, my babies are breastfed so they get up more often” to which I replied “oh she gets breastmilk, she just doesn’t wake up for a feeding at night” The tone she used made it sound like she was better because she was breastfeeding-without knowing that Sam drank breastmilk as well. It’s not my fault her kids get up more often.

Even though I’ve done it as well, I don’t see the need for competition. I guess every mom wants their kid to the best and brightest. Sam hated being on her belly until, well she still doesn’t like it, but I was convinced she was never going to roll over. During tummy time she would push her belly out and teeter on it instead of using her arms. Some friends whose babies younger than her, they were using their arms and rolling over. So I compared, which I told myself not to do. Turns out I just need to wait for her to do her thing. She can roll front to back, but prefers rolling back to front. Then she cries and we flip her back over just to repeat the process. She stays on her tummy longer than before and I know soon she will have no troubles. I keep reminding myself that all babies are different and develop at their own rate.

I know I had a point to this post when I started it 2 days ago, but now this is all I remember that I was going to write about. My little Peanut was up 3 times last night practicing her roll over skills. I just wish she would remember she knows how to get back to her back.


  1. i always think that the mom's who play the comparison games have nothing else going on. sigh. it's annoying :) Glad to see you're blogging again!!

  2. As my mom often reminded me, no one is going to care when Sam rolled/crawled/walked etc when she is 6 or 12 or grown up. As long as she is learning and growing she is perfect. Julia was all over the place with milestones, sat unassisted before 5 months but wasn't rolling until well after 7 months. Stood before she crawled, etc. They all do things so differently!


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